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Yuan9月22日 我二年级啦人生中最后的一次二年级开始了。小学二年级的时候觉得自己很高大，初中二年级的时候刚到美国觉得自己很孤独，高中二年级的时候经历搬家转学觉得很混乱，到了大学二年级觉得青春短暂满腔热血想要主导人生。研究生的二年级，面对更成熟更自立的自己，站在校园生活的出口，真的好舍不得。
这一年有很多事情要做，毕业，考试，找工作是必须面对的，也就没什么好畏惧了。希望再折腾一年以后可以有段平稳自由的生活，让我可以看完想看的小说，学会想学的乐器。暑假的intern生活让我更珍惜剩下的不到一年的学生日子。没有什么比追求知识更纯净的了，不同于工作中的权势还有金钱的压力，学习的压力是对自己要求的负责。虽然有时也会觉得学起来很累很无奈但最终受益的是自己。
今天回到学校又看到了往日热闹的人流，感到很有活力。老爸以前去我本科校园的时候总是说，年轻人真快乐，到处都是微笑的面孔。后来我也会不时的观察，大家在一起确实都是在笑着，好像生活中的烦恼根本就不算是烦恼，只是过渡的一个环节。怪不得有些人工作了一辈子最后还是想回到学校。
开学了，可以让休息了一个暑假的大脑再转起来。 9月7日 SeptemberJuly zoomed by, August slipped away, and September is riding on. It's almost time to pack my backpack again and head back to school. And it's quite sad to know that the finish line is within sight; the start of graduate school was from exciting to frustrating, from full hearted anticipation to a lonely night of wanting to escape; the experiences during school is as rich as it is short.
My internship is going smoothly, but at times, it does feel like I'm riding on a train without a destination. The nature of working is rather repetative and nonstimulating, falling into a rhythmic pattern of work-home-work-home. So it is not until after working that you really appreciatve the diversity, creativity and freedom in school life. The money is good, but where is the soul? The offices are clean, but where is sunshine? However, I can't really complain, making the best of everything, and be content of what we have are the key ingredients of happiness.
What's worse than having too much work is to have none at all. The biggest thing I learned through my internship is that I can't bear to be idle. When you have to sit in front of a computer for 8 hours a day, rain or shine, passing the time becomes a major goal of your life. After performing the daily web surfing routines, it is such blessing to be able to settle into actual work, and not have to look at the clock until the day is finished. To enjoy working is a luxury, but to stay focused and walk away with a sense of fulfillment are important reminders that we are moving forward, growing, and being productive.
I hope to never fall into a working zombie, and perhaps go travel and read more books after I graduate. I've always want to pick up Spanish, and learn to play the guitar. I remember during my freshman year in college, my mentor asked us to write a journal entry on our college 4-year plans, and that's what I put down: learn a foreign language, learn another musical instrument, travel abroad, and double major with liberal art. So far, two things remain unchecked. Well, and other things also fall into my list, I have never been to Africa, never done rock climbing, and never driven across the country. In the end, nothing really matters than what you have done to make your life, your own. 7月13日 购物狂 听一起来的intern天天叫唤着发工资，我总是很优哉的在一旁喝可乐，但是发工资的那天自己还是小小的激动了一下，之后一不小心就买了一双高跟鞋加化妆品，再次被Nordstrom卷去200多。 周六在shishi的鼓动下又跑去UTC，原本的逛一逛之余又情不自禁的促进了一下美国经济，还被Macy's 化妆品柜台的大妈当了回试验品眼睛被擦了重重叠叠的眼影。难得银行帐号从复变正，自从咬牙买了宝马以后就一直掰着指头计算开销，所以这周末终于可以喘口气了。 爸妈八月底来看我，很期待不过要给他们留下一个整洁的印象。所以这两天很殷勤的打扫卫生，通下水道，擦地，刷厕所，上周还跑去IKEA买了新床单和被套。不过发现扫除的工程很大，厨房和厕所是重战区所以有空就擦擦。讨厌的是，每次炒菜或者炸东西就又变脏了，所以现在口味改清谈，避免油光四溅的任何活动。 目标：打造温馨整洁五脏俱全的小家欢迎老爸老妈。这是我的新挑战！ 7月9日 My one year diary It has almost been a year since I moved to San Diego. Yes, yes, time flies, and we are reaching our "stars" in ways only we can understand. In all my attempts to grapple life, and make each moment meaningful, I've found that I am quite powerless alone, the tangled identity inside me is once again split up. I was comfortable with my East Coast Asian-Americanism: eating cheese, traveling abroad, talking about beach trips and birthday bashes, screaming down the roller coaster, dressing up for art events; and at school, building sheds for community service, hosting dating auctions, jumping on the train of spontaneity, I say "go" you say "where". That was my life, and I was convinced that, despite the difference in my origin, I have been heart and soul Americanized. San Diego is a cultural awakening for me, not only I have met people who connected me to my other half, it made me feel intensely at home and at ease. It was a great release of tension that has built up in me over the years, a subconscious discord that made myself less complete. Unlike most of the people I met here, I plunged into the American Society without holding back. There was no Chinese spoken at School, and no friends to support me through the harsh transition. So it was strangely exciting to suddenly meet so many people living the life I treaded through for what felt like a life time ago. Sometimes it feels like traveling back in time, seeing how it all began. Because on each person, a new story is unfolding, part of the cultural-shock I have tasted, but another part is retaining one's origin, for which I have forgotten. Now I must reevaluate a lot of my beliefs, growing used to a certain routine doesn't define myself. I am comfortable driving my own car, going to self-checkout, talking to phone services, and buying electronic tickets. I "google" things and when there is a question I look them up on wikipedia, this is how things are done, this is how I've learned to keep my distance. Therefore, meeting new people especially people who breaks your daily routine is a luxury. It is such pleasure hearing people talk about going to college in China, being part of the cultural change, and growing up there. It is the closest I will ever get to a world life time away, yet taking a steadying root in me. It is quite conflicting each time I'm trying to explain to an American or a Chinese (or worse, a British when I was living in London) who the heck I am. But the beauty is, I am being embraced and accepted by the people I met in San Diego as well as in Maryland, even though they are two completely different groups. San Diego has brought certain reconciliation between the East and the West in me, but as Browning says, "never the twin shall meet", I am happy and thankful to have recognized both sides, and finding my place partly here and partly there. 6月30日 我24啦！昨儿又长了一岁，不过自21岁成人后就好像没怎么庆祝过生日了。 每次都是和爸妈一起买蛋糕吃面条。 昨天请了几个朋友去了海边烧烤，这次即是生日又是本命年还是我来圣地亚哥一年，很有纪念意义。 本打算烧烤完后可以在海边生篝火，不过等找到地方天都黑了，很难指路，所以留下一个小小的遗憾。 不过火还是要点地，柴火我都准备好了，久仓还特地劈了人家的桌子，还有智林带来了自己的论文来当火引， 所以说还要再折腾一回！ 很开心有很多朋友来参加，暑假还是要大家多在一起热闹着才好。 6月7日 My new rideGetting a BMW is the single most self-satisfying, impulsive, indulging, and irrevocably brave thing I've done all year. Everyday, as I walk past my shiny galloping machine, I'm always charged with an unbelivable sense of freedom. Because, small and insignificant I am, driving a BMW feels as far away as it is unreal. Yet things are impossible only when we do not dare to believe. The joy of driving my life at full throttle is, simply, priceless.
Aside from my new dose of material adrenalin, it has been a busy quarter. I talked to the "legendary" Iranian scholar for the first time on the shuttle today, and he's not all that terrifying. Quite sweet in my opinion when he smiles. We've had 5 classes together for the past year, now think about it, we were never really strangers!
Though I didn't visit the big tree (zoo, sea word, and animal park) thisyear in SD, I have a great roommate (with an equally lovely girlfriend), fun labmates (gossiping has never been so professional), a crowd of helpful friends, and now a glamorous new ride! How fortunate I am. Nothing can really defeat my spirit with all that I have to cheer me up :) (well, maybe the prospect of having 3 finals, but I shall rebound).
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